Adventures in Co-Parenting: Gender-coded Clothing

25/04/2012 § 2 Comments

Quin and I have numerous DVDs of Cartoon Cartoons. We decided that we wanted the kiddo to experience a Cartoon Cartoon Friday, so we ordered a pizza, popped in some DVDs, drank soda, and watched. As per typical cartoon humor, one of the boys in the cartoon ended up in a dress. The kiddo laughed and laughed. I took a moment just to ask him why he feels that it’s so funny, and he responded that dresses, skirts, shorts, and pants are for girls, but boys only wear shorts and pants. I pointed out that not so long ago, girls wouldn’t have been allowed to wear pants. He replied “That’s dumb, why shouldn’t girls be allowed to wear pants?” 

About a week after that, the kiddo and I were walking back home from the store. I was wearing a skirt. We were talking about why shadows look the way they do, and he asked why my shadow jumps around so much. I told him that it was because my skirt flutters around in the wind. He got angry that he wasn’t “allowed” to wear skirts and have them flutter around in the wind. My response? “That’s dumb, why shouldn’t boys be allowed to wear skirts?” 

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Adventures in Co-Parenting: Avalokiteśvara

16/04/2012 § Leave a comment

Backstory: Our household is comprised of three adults (myself, Quin, the roomie) and one 8-year-old (son of the roomie, hereafter referred to as the kiddo). Quin and I act as guardians, and we more-or-less operate as a family unit. There are some struggles in that, but not necessarily any more difficult that “traditional” families. Also for the record, I’m not a Buddhist practitioner.

The kiddo has religious views/values that differ from everyone else in the house. Recently, he told Quin & I that we’re going to hell. We were slightly blindsided by this, but all the adults are in agreement that, while we want to give him freedom to explore his own values, we also don’t randomly want him telling people they’re going to hell. People tend to not take kindly to that. In any event, although I do a decent job of talking to people about their religious practice, I fumbled through this encounter because I was rather taken aback by it. I dealt with it by basically saying that I disagree and let the matter drop. His usual response to disagreement about God is “It’s true, I’m not lying. I learned it at church.”

 
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